As you reflect on leadership, do you believe any of these to be true?

• You are either born a leader, or not?

• You are a leader or a follower?

• There is a right way to be a leader?

• Leaders are extroverts?

• Leaders need to be in control all the time?

• Leaders always have the answers?

I’ve heard all of these, but none are actually true.

Leadership is an essential skill in any organization, and yet it is often misunderstood. Many people have misconceptions about what makes a leader, what makes them successful, and how to become one.

There are many myths of leadership, but 3 common ones are:

1. People are born to be leaders.

2. There is one right type of leader.

3. Leaders are always in control.

Popular culture often perpetuates these myths.

People are born to be leaders.

While there may be some people who have an easier time being natural leaders, anyone can learn how to lead if they put in the effort and dedication necessary. Leadership skills can always be cultivated over time through self-reflection and practice.

Leaders need to have a growth-mindset. Inherent in that is the belief that anyone can learn skills and improve. It may seem like some people are born leaders, but more likely is that they have spent considerable time learning, practising, and reflecting.

The myth that people are born to be leaders is extremely limiting. We may have natural ability, but those who are good at something have spent considerable time developing and practising that skill.

Believing that you are born to be a leader (or conversely, that you weren’t born into leadership) is a limiting belief. Each one of us has the potential to develop their skills in this area.

Sometimes, people will believe that they failed in the past, so they believe that they weren’t born into it. There are tons of stories of famous people who were told they would never make it, and their belief and perseverance drove them to keep trying.

Leadership skills can be honed through experience, education and personal development, making anyone capable of leading a team or organization towards success.

The truth is that anyone can be a leader by developing the right skills and learning how to effectively use them.

Have your leadership skills improved over time? Do you believe you can continually develop them? Is this myth limiting you? How can you bust it?

There is one type of leader

A cousin of this myth is that there is one way to lead. There is no perfect leader. Leadership is comprised of many skills and some of these will be more natural and others may take practice.

Leaders come from all walks of life and possess a variety of skills and talents that make them effective at leading others.

Often, people believe that you need to be an extrovert to lead, but that is also false. Motivating people does not always involve standing at the front of a crowd and delivering a mesmerizing speech. There are certainly leaders like that, but there are also successful leaders who quietly motivate in different ways.

Just like there is value in each of the DISC profile, leaders are varied and how they lead varies. If you look at DISC profiles, the four styles lead:

                D – Directly

                I – Inspirationally

                S – Supportively

                C – Carefully

Ideally, we build teams with a variety of different leadership qualities, so we access a variety of strengths.

There are core leadership skills like listening, galvanizing, resolving conflict amongst others, but we approach these skills with our own unique flair.

Because you don’t want to be the one leading the meeting, doesn’t mean you are not a leader.

Even leaders follow, and while it seems easy to say you are a leader or a follower, the truth is you are likely both depending on the situation.

Leaders are always in control

Rarely are we completely in control of a situation. There are simply too many other factors.

The only thing you can (perhaps) completely control is yourself and your actions. Once you add others into the mix, you can no longer claim total control.

While it's important for leaders to be decisive, they don't need to do all the talking, or make every decision. Good leaders understand how to delegate responsibilities, trust their team members, and let go when necessary. They know how to listen, as well as, speak up when it matters most.

In reality, effective leaders are often willing to seek out advice from others and ask questions when they don't know something.

Those who seek to be always in control actually micro-manage others, or are seen as “control-freaks” which makes them ineffective leaders.

Although having confidence and being decisive can help you lead, effective leaders also possess qualities such as flexibility, empathy, and the ability to listen to others. A good leader doesn't need to be loud or forceful; rather, they should understand their own strengths and use them effectively when needed. They should also be aware of their blind spots and seek to mitigate those by using the strengths of other people.

What’s next?

Do any of these speak to you? Have you been caught in a negative cycle by holding onto them? That’s OK! You aren’t alone.

The first step is recognizing where these may have limited you. Then reflect and try to shift the narrative in your mind. Acknowledge your strengths and blind spots and determine how you might improve.

Are you a leader who recognizes people on your team who are buying into these myths? Have a private conversation with them and bring the limiting belief to their attention and help them create a plan to move past the block.

Recognize your growth areas and read books, listen to podcasts or access training to help you grow and improve. Check out my Resources page, sign up for my newsletter or join one of my training sessions!

There are many other leadership myths. Which other ones have you heard (or believed)?