Have you ever felt like you were speaking a different language than someone else? You understand the words, but don’t get what they are saying? Or maybe, their actions and how they act seems foreign to you?

Sometimes, you just get along with someone and communication is easy. You may wish everyone could be like that.

But they aren’t.

The world is made up of people who don’t think like us and they can totally frustrate us, but what if we could understand them better?

And then we might be able to figure them out and work together better?

DISC can help!

DISC is a behaviour model that explains our natural tendencies, and also helps us understand the tendencies of others so we can “get” them and hopefully work together better (learn more in this blog post). I’ve been using this model for the past few years and wanted to share some examples of how it works to create stronger teams (and thus better results and less dysfunction and conflict).

Stop Wasting my Time

Picture this team: Leader is an I style and team has an over-representation of D styles. Remember that I styles’ focus is on people and D-styles’ focus is results. See the potential for conflict?

The leader would start meetings with a check-in of how everyone was doing. She needed to know how everyone was feeling so she could manage the meeting and lead well. The D styles wanted to get right into the meat of the discussion, so they were annoyed at what they felt was a waste of time.

Once the D styles understood the leader’s motivation, and why she needed to ask the questions, they were able to give her more grace and understanding, and she worked on speeding up the introduction section of the meeting.

The Email

A committee met. The members spanned all four styles and they had some great discussion and set next steps.

The Chair is a D style and so she did up the report to present to the bigger group. As a D style, she focused on the end result (the decision/recommendation). Upon reviewing the report, she recognized that she might have omitted details, so she sent it to another member (S style) who read it over and then filled in some gaps she saw (added some history, context and details).

The report was then submitted to the Executive Director who replied, “Thank you for the report. My C style appreciates the details and they help me prepare for the discussion.”

So, how does the report meet the needs of the 4 styles? There is a section for the details and background (for the S and C styles) and then a section for the recommendations (for the D and I styles).

Conflict is a Collaborative Process

I was speaking with a D style about conflict one day, and he exclaimed, “I view conflict as a collaborative process.”

I took a step back and spit out, “OK. You are going to have to explain that one to me.” (I’m an S style and somewhat conflict adverse).

He explained that he’s focused on results and getting things done, and loves the debate of ideas. It jazzes him, so he seeks it out. He challenges ideas and tries to poke holes in ideas. Even if he agrees, he sometimes plays devil’s advocate just because.

Understanding his motivation made me take his challenges less personally. When he argues with me, it’s not because he thinks my ideas are stupid, but rather, he just wants to have a great debate.

I am now no longer so drained after conversations with him (as an S style, conflict is a situation that reduces my motivation). Understanding conflict is a motivating situation for him helps me walk away after without holding onto negative emotions (towards the situation and towards him). Previously, I’d hold on tight to them which then affected me for the rest of the day (or even longer).

I Have 15 Minutes to Talk

One of my good friends is an I style. She likes to talk (and who are we kidding, I can talk too – I have some I style too). We don’t get to talk often, but whenever we do chat, the conversations are anything but brief.

One day, I texted her and asked if she had time to connect for a chat. We found a time and when she picked up the phone, she said, “OK, I have 15 minutes”. I laughed (probably too loudly) and replied, “When have we ever had a 15 minute conversation? She laughed too and we decided to connect a little bit later as we knew we’d be into a ton of good stuff when our time “ran out” if we stuck to her original timeline. Now, we plan longer times to talk (this is good to know when setting meetings with I styles – they aren’t often brief).

A Team Report Can Tell You a Ton

Understanding your own DISC style can help you recognize which behaviours are comfortable or natural. Knowing the DISC style of other people enables you to understand them and adapt.

Team Reports show the strengths and blind spots of the collective team and give incredible insight.

They might show a heavy prevalence towards one style or even one half of the DISC diamond with an absence in other areas. Perhaps everyone is fairly similar and there is one person who is a different style? Knowing that they are “different” helps you heed their input in a valuable way instead of potentially being annoyed because they always seem to be the odd one out.

As a leader (and as a team member), it helps you meet each team member where they are most comfortable.

What’s Next?

Do you know your DISC style? If you’ve done an assessment, then awesome! Take a look through the report and answer the questions and look at the advice for interacting with the different styles.

Don’t know? That’s OK! You can take my free course and see if you can pick out your style (hint: there is a discount code at the end of the course if you want to then take an assessment.

You can also buy an individual assessment. That will come with a detailed report which shares general information about DISC and the 4 profiles, but also tailored, specific information about your style. You can also purchase an add on coaching package (1 hour will give you an overview of DISC and an introduction into your report and 2 hours will include digging into your report in detail).

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