Summary

Providing good feedback is one of the hardest tasks we face as leaders (and as people). Being honest and kind seem mutually exclusive. Kim Scott reminds us that we were taught, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” and so many people do not give constructive feedback as they view it as not nice. Scott, however, argues that not being direct is actually unkind. Ignoring issues in the guise of niceness is, in fact, just the opposite.

Scott developed a model which she calls Radical Candor. Using a quadrant system based on two axis: the vertical axis is Care Personally while the horizontal axis is Challenge Directly. She then gives names to each quadrant and describes the type of person who utilizes that feedback.

Ruinous Empathy

Cares personally, but doesn’t challenge directly.
This is a danger zone in leadership. Leaders care about their team members, so don’t want to tell them that their work needs improvement, or that they did something wrong. Sometimes, they will circle around it, rather than just come out and say it; other times, they may talk behind the backs of others. They often give basic, vague praise which is unhelpful and unmotivating.

Manipulative Insincerity

Doesn’t care personally and doesn’t challenge directly.
Often times, feedback (both praise and criticism) is construed as fake. The giver is generally more worried about being liked or accepted and so they are not willing to have difficult conversations. Some people are focused on political gain and as a result, will be manipulatively insincere. Someone on the receiving end of manipulative insincerity will often not believe the praise given to them

Obnoxious Aggression

Doesn’t care personally, but challenges directly.
Scott terms this boss as the “competent asshole.” Their feedback is crystal clear and they have no problem saying it to you, and you know where they stand and what they are thinking, however, since you also know they do not care about you (or their feedback is given in such a way that you do not feel that they do), you can often not truly be able to accept it. Public humiliation and criticism falls into this square. While people know where they stand, there is no sense of trust or allegiance built, which does not produce great results long-term, and ultimately, people will often grow tired of this type of behaviour and leave.

Radical Candor

Cares personally and challenges directly.
Feedback in this quadrant reflects that you care about the other person, but is also direct. This type of both praise and criticism is specific too. Scott tells a story of a stranger who said, “It’s not mean, it’s clear!” (p. 23) In a similar vein to Brené Brown’s “Clear is Kind” motto, Radical Candor allows you to give specific praise or criticism, while also acknowledging that you care about the other person.

Scott further adds that feedback is a two-way street. We must model Radical Candor when we give feedback to others, but we must also seek that feedback from those with whom we work. This will be a new experience for many people on your team (think about how many bosses have asked you for feedback on them as a boss). It is crucial though, for you to hear about how you help and hinder those around you, so that you can grow too. You must ensure that you never retaliate for any feedback given, however. If you disagree, you should take some time, and then revisit it in a follow up conversation.

In addition to her Radical Candor model, Scott includes a section on tools and techniques to help you grow your Radical Candor skills.

Relationships

To create a culture where Radical Candor is expected and common, you must first build relationships and a sense of trust.

Guidance

Radical Candor involves both praise and criticism and that for each, you get them from others, give them to others, and encourage them between others. Just as important as the relationship between you and your direct reports, is the relationship your team has with each other including their comfort and ability to provide feedback without your involvement.

Team

Scott introduces the concepts of Rock Stars and Superstars and writes that each plays an essential role on a team. Superstars are on a high growth trajectory and you need to encourage them, provide challenging opportunities and recognize that they are looking to move into a new role, so you likely will not be able to keep them on your team long-term in their current role. Rock Stars are on a lower growth trajectory and provide a ton of stability to your team. We often think less of our Rock Stars, and may think they have no drive, but their drive really come from doing an outstanding role. Both of these are essential to a strong team and understanding how to challenge each is essential.

Results

The ultimate goal of building a strong Radically Candor culture, is to achieve results. Scott presents different types of meetings a leader can use to help the team achieve these results. Each of these meetings has a different intention and outcome which she lists as: listen, clarify, debate, decide, persuade, execute and learn.

Intended to be a practical model for feedback, Scott skillfully describes each of the four quadrants and then shares practical ideas for how to utilize Radical Candor to build stronger teams and ultimately get results.