The Hard Things Matter
I am afraid of heights.
I feel like I need to take you back a few years to truly help you understand how much I do not like heights.
When I was 14, my family took a trip to Seattle which included a trip to the Seattle Space Needle. Overall, I was a compliant teenager who did as I was told, and as was expected. As we lined up to buy tickets to go up the Space Needle, I decided I just couldn’t do it. I calmly explained to my mother I was not going to participate in this particular family activity. She did not look impressed and expressed back to me that I absolutely was. Several more exchanges ensued which ultimately resulted in my feet staying firmly planted on the ground, and the rest of them boarding the elevator up. I wasn’t typically a kid who argued with my mother and my mother wasn’t typically someone people argued with so that particular event is seared in my memory.
Four years ago, I went to New York with my husband to celebrate our fifteenth wedding anniversary. On my list included Broadway, Times Square and the Statue of Liberty. On his was going up the Empire State Building. As what I wanted to do far outnumbered what he wanted to see, I felt somewhat obligated to at least try this venture. We stepped into the lobby and realized that there were two options: really freaking high, and even higher. I was talking to the security guard and asked if on the really freaking high level, there was an inside portion or if I was immediately outside once I got off the elevator. I figure I could handle it (maybe) if I could at least stay inside and stare anywhere but outside. The nice security guard was trying to alleviate my fears by telling me there was a mesh fence so it wasn’t like I could fall off the balcony section, but it wasn’t like my fear was rational, so that didn’t help much though. We bought our tickets and slowly made it through the line and eventually exited the elevator on the 86th floor. I then promptly sat down and gave him the camera to explore and take photos. He made me stand up at one point so he could take a photo of me as proof that I had done it.
Fast forward to this past summer and I took our daughter to New York to celebrate her 16th birthday. I had lots of cool things I wanted to show her, but I asked her what she wanted to see. Yup, the top of the Empire State Building. This time, as I knew I could stay inside, I was better prepared to know what to expect. The line was shorter and we got to the 86th floor fairly quickly. This time, however, I went onto the balcony and walked once around. I was slow and cautious, but I did it. And I made her take the photo as proof!
Life is tough and there are lots of things of which to be afraid. Some fear is good (like the fear that the alligator will eat you if you swim in the river with it – that’s another story though) and other fears are meant to be conquered (like the fear of standing on the 86th floor of the Empire State Building). You can face it incrementally and be proud of any small bit of progress you make towards overcoming it.