The Importance of Relationships
Last year, my daughter’s teacher asked whose parents were coming to Parent Teacher Interviews and she raised her hand. As she does very well academically, he looked at her puzzled, and asked, “Why?”
She responded, “Because my mother likes to talk to people.”
She is correct, however, I attend for a different reason. I want to build a relationship with her teachers. I want them to know that I am a safe phone call if they have concerns about her, and I want to be able to truly understand how she is doing beyond academics. I believe that I can do this better in person than via email.
Relationships are essential to me. I passionately believe in building community and I try to do everything through a lens of building relationships and a sense of community. I stepped down as the school council chair of my children’s elementary last year and it gave me great pride to see them continue to talk about their work through the focus of building community.
As I work to build relationships, I look around and see more and more opportunities to diminish the importance of them. Texting and emails have taken the improper place of face to face conversations. Don’t get me wrong; texting and emails are great, but they have a purpose and are often used in inappropriate ways. It has become too easy to hide behind a keyboard and write things in a way that we would never articulate if sitting beside someone. It’s quicker and simpler to email concerns, rather than to have a difficult conversation, however, those types of email discussions do not build trust. Working through a difficult challenge face to face (or even sometimes on the phone) affords us the opportunity to read body language and auditory cues that are absent in written correspondence. It allows us to apologize immediately if we say something hurtful or offensive to the other person, and the conversation permits us to work through an issue in real time. These challenging conversations allow us to see the other person’s perspective and hopefully come to a common understanding.
I read an article somewhere about how it is important to arrive 5-10 minutes early to a meeting, and then to put away your phone and chat with the other participants. Often times, we arrive right on time (or even late) and if we are early, we spend that time engrossed in our phone. We lost the desire to talk to each other at some point, and it is hurting our ability to build relationships.
When I chair meetings, I will often ask participants to answer a question in addition to introducing themselves as it helps everyone get to know each other. I always learn so much about others this way and it creates a tone of understanding.
“Relationships are the foundation of leadership.” I completely agree with him and challenge you to do something today to build relationship with someone.”
I completely agree with Maxwell and challenge you to do something today to build relationship with someone.