In fall of 2004, I returned to teaching after maternity leave. I had secured a dayhome and done the transition with my one year old. A few weeks into my return, my dayhome operator informed me that she was closing in one week.

No one likes conflict, or do they?

While many people are conflict adverse, some people actually do enjoy it. I’ve heard people tell me:

Your organization’s success is strongly linked to your leader’s strengths.  You rely on them for more than executing vision and managing people. They need to have the skills to do these, but also to develop and support the next group of leaders.

Why does it matter if my team is strong? I have lots of high achieving people on my team.

Does this sound familiar? Ever heard anyone say that?

Have you ever been on a great team? One where you had each others’ backs and you got each other. You may have rocked a project and probably had a great time doing it?

Do you remember a time when you smiled at someone, and they smiled back? When someone gave you a compliment? When someone paid for your coffee in a drive through lane?

Are you a rockstar or a super star? Or do you know? What about for those on your team?

Last month, my husband and I went out to dinner to celebrate our anniversary. The server asked if we were celebrating anything special and I replied, “Our 21st Anniversary.” She smiled and I don’t even remember what happened next, but I remember thinking it was like when they ask you if you found everything you were looking for at the checkout, but aren’t really interested in the answer as whenever I’d say “no” they would look at me and not know what to say.

I’m often asked how to become a leader. It’s a huge question without a straight-forward, linear, follow these steps answer. But there are key skills and concepts which I believe contribute to being an effective leader.

I have always thought I was a fairly positive person, but about 13 years ago, someone challenged me on that belief. I asked around and a couple people reinforced that despite how I saw myself, they saw me as leaning towards the negative. It shocked me and made me really think and reflect.

I have read many leadership books, but I think one of my favorites is still The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. I have read many of his books and they’re all great, but this one distills down characteristics of great teams.

A couple of weeks ago, I was mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed when a friend’s post caught my eye(I will call him, Peter - not his real name, but easier than constantly writing “my friend”).

Peter’s post read:

Ugh. Already late handing in an assignment and I just can’t get my fire lit. Help!