Isolated Connection

While we can’t be physically close for the foreseeable future, we must not forget to remain emotionally connected

I want to start by acknowledging that this blog post is one of the hardest I’ve written. My normal process is to write a rough draft one week and then edit and post it the following week. I sat down to edit what I wrote last week, and while the message is relevant (building trust), I felt compelled to write about building connection in this crazy situation we all find ourselves in.

A week and a half ago (Wednesday, March 11), I was at soccer practices for two of my children who were both set to compete in soccer provincials that upcoming weekend. We had heard about COVID-19, but it wasn’t real to us yet. As we were leaving practice, the NBA announcement that they were suspending their season came across our phones. It seemed like a crazy over-reaction.

The following day (Thursday, March 12), the cancellations started pouring in; soccer provincials was cancelled and the NHL was also suspending their season. Hockey Canada was suspending all sanctioned events (things are starting to get real now).

Another day (Friday, March 13) brought even more cancellations and suspensions. Canada Soccer Association also suspended all sanctioned soccer events. My weekend long board meeting was moved to virtual.

The weekend saw the immediate cancellation of classes in schools, and students across the province were left wondering how they would finish school. Parents wondered how they were now going to manage with their kids at home. Teachers and school staff wondered how they were going to walk into empty schools the following morning, and how they were going to teach these students they’d grown to love.

We’ve been social distancing and self-isolating for almost a week now, and it’s hard. It’s crazy because we complain constantly about how busy we are, and how we do not have time for everything. Now, we have nothing but time, but we’re alone. Many of us haven’t left our homes in days and we’ve spent more time with our families than we have in awhile. I’ve seen memes about how the introverts have been prepping for this their whole lives, but what about the extroverts? I actually think that we all need social connection and contact; we just need it in different ways.

I’m looking forward, and I am not sure I see an end to self-isolation in the near future. This week has been hard; for so many reasons. There is so much uncertainty, and I know for one, I don’t deal well with the unknown. I like my plans; knowing what to expect tomorrow. That’s not the reality of today though; and likely won’t be reality tomorrow either.

So, how do we get through this? The way we cope with anything hard: together. We can’t be physically together, so we need to manufacture what together looks like. For me, it means texts and calls to friends and family. It’s creating family time – eating supper together, family meetings, games, movies and crafting. Yesterday, I had a virtual meeting with some friends with a common interest. We checked in and chatted about our struggles and goals for the upcoming week. Tomorrow night, I have a virtual girls’ night out scheduled.

What together looks like for you may be different than me. I’ve seen tons of different ideas on social media. Some communities are hanging shamrocks and smilie faces in their windows, and others are turning their Christmas lights back on. I know friends who have created group chats, Facebook lives, Zoom calls and who are just calling each other.

It’s only been a week, and emotionally, I am exhausted. I feel overwhelmed; but in a different way. No longer is it due to a lack of time, rather, it’s a lack of time together. So, for me, I need to manufacture that. I need to reach out and create the opportunities for connection, even if it’s not in person. I know there will be an end, even if I don’t know when that is. I know that we will survive this, and I hope that when it’s all over, we emerge with stronger connections and a reassured confidence about what is truly important to us.