Do you remember a time when you smiled at someone, and they smiled back? When someone gave you a compliment? When someone paid for your coffee in a drive through lane?

When someone asks you to commit to a project, volunteer with a group or attend a meeting, is your default answer, “yes”? Or are you able to reflect and give a firm “no”? Or do you say yes, but wish you said no?

Are you someone who completes your work early and doesn’t stress about quickly approaching deadlines? Or do you find yourself sliding into home as the catcher swings his glove above you and just get it done in the nick of time?

Go Hard or Go Home!
It’s All or Nothing!
No Pain, No Gain!

I’m not sure when I first heard these phrases, but I somehow never thought to question them.

I love a good system.

Love might be overstating it, but upon further reflection, I really don’t think so.

What makes a great leader? That’s the million dollar question without a clear-cut, simple, do this and you’ll rock answer. Ask a group of people and you are likely to get a ton of different answers, but I do think there are a few core skills that great leaders have in common.

Are you a rockstar or a super star? Or do you know? What about for those on your team?

C-styles are analytical, systematic, and thorough. They represent just under ¼ of the Canadian population and their focus on details means they tend to produce high-quality work.

Fail better? I’d never heard that phrase before I first read about it in Michael Bungay Stanier’s book: The Coaching Habit. But as I read it, I put stars beside it and made a note to reflect on it, and it’s been swirling around my brain for the past few months.

S-styles are strong, stable and supportive. They represent about 1/3 of the Canadian population and their strong sense of team and stable nature contribute to cohesive teams.

Years ago, a student walked into my classroom. He was visibly upset and started rambling at me. I knew he was trying to tell me something, but I had no idea what exactly he was trying to get across.

I-styles are influential, interesting, and inspiring. They represent just over 1/3 of the Canadian population and their enthusiasm and energy plan an important role on our teams. They are focused on people and emotions and can drive our C or D styles crazy.

Last month, my husband and I went out to dinner to celebrate our anniversary. The server asked if we were celebrating anything special and I replied, “Our 21st Anniversary.” She smiled and I don’t even remember what happened next, but I remember thinking it was like when they ask you if you found everything you were looking for at the checkout, but aren’t really interested in the answer as whenever I’d say “no” they would look at me and not know what to say.

D-styles are dominant, direct and decisive. While they represent less than 10% of the Canadian population, they play an essential role on our teams. D-styles often get a bad rap as they are focused on results and their directness can be taken as anger or frustration.

Has anyone’s style just grated on your nerves, but you didn’t know why? Perhaps someone sent you a long email and you just want them to get to the point. Maybe you are worried a colleague is mad at you because they were loud and assertive in the meeting you just left.

I often read books for a specific purpose when I want to learn more about a topic so I can teach, but as I started reading more regularly (resulting in greater quantity), I started wondering, “Am I implementing any of the ideas from these books or am I just reading them and then putting them on my shelf?”

I’m often asked how to become a leader. It’s a huge question without a straight-forward, linear, follow these steps answer. But there are key skills and concepts which I believe contribute to being an effective leader.

For years, I’ve known about the importance of values. I had a loose idea of mine swirling around in my head, but I hadn’t clearly defined them. A couple of years ago, I spent time narrowing them down, and digging in so I could articulate them.

I was reading a book the other night: The 4% Fix and came across this passage:

“Have you ever had a brilliant idea or solved what felt like an unsolvable problem in the shower, or just before falling asleep, or maybe when you’re sitting alone in nature? The quietness and stillness of your mind during these types of activities allow for thought processes that couldn’t get through the noise before.” (Karma Brown pp. 195-6)

Are you a slave to your to do list? It is easy to get caught up in the list of tasks we need to accomplish, but are they the right tasks?