Who Are You Influencing?
I took this photo while out for a walk with a friend and for a multitude of reasons it makes me smile. When I am in a positive mood, I have the power to influence others too. So, what can you do to improve your happiness?
Do you remember a time when you smiled at someone, and they smiled back? When someone gave you a compliment? When someone paid for your coffee in a drive through lane?
Now think back to your reaction or how you felt? What did you do next? Did your mood change? Did you carry a sense of positivity or happiness into your next interaction? Did you pay for the next person’s coffee?
In his book, The Happiness Advantage, positive psychologist, Shawn Achor describes 7 principles for improving happiness (which he argues – and backs up with studies) then drives success. (watch his TED Talk or check out my Resource page for more information about him). I highly recommend his book, and I think the real power of his words comes in his last section which he terms “The Ripple Effect.”
While we only have control over ourselves, we can impact those around us. Achor references research by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler who state that our influence extends beyond those we directly interact with. We actually have power to influence people three degrees removed (my child’s friend’s parent) which they estimate to be 1000 people (p. 201).
OK. Hold on. That line blew me away. My mood, my words, my happiness can impact 1000 people. Holy crap.
Achor writes about mirror neurons which are “specialized brain cells that can actually sense and then mimic the feelings, actions, and physical sensations of another person.” (pp. 203-4). Achor continues by stating that, “thanks to these same mirror neurons, our emotions, too, are enormously contagious. As we pass through the day, our brains are constantly processing the feelings of the people around us, taking note of the inflection in someone’s voice, the look behind their eyes, the stoop of their shoulders. In fact, the amygdala can read and identify an emotion in another person’s face within 33 milliseconds, and then just as quickly, prime us to feel the same. In addition to this subconscious process, people also consciously assess the mood of those around them and act accordingly. Both processes together make it possible for emotions to jump from person to person in an instant. In fact, studies have shown that when three strangers meet in a room, the most emotionally expressive person transmits his or her mood to the others within just two minutes.” (pp. 204-205).
The transmission of emotions happens with positive and negative emotions. Consider this scenario presented by Achor:
An executive practices gratitude which trains his brain to see the positive. He meets with his team and picks up on a success he might have otherwise missed, and he praises a team member. Now, that team member’s brain is primed to look for positive and might praise other people throughout the day. They will be more productive and possibly impact others too. (p. 209).
Now ponder the opposite situation: An executive walks into a morning meeting and is cranky and upset. His mood is written on his face and the mood in the room is nervous and unsettling. The executive notices a small mistake (brain sees what it is focused on) and he yells or snaps (or criticizes) the team member. The other people sink in their chairs and hope the meeting ends quickly. After, they each go back to their desk and their mood seeps into their other interactions.
We can likely relate to both these scenarios, and although we weren’t involved, we can imagine the emotions involved and feel the happiness or dread. We’ve all been there.
We all have the ability to affect and impact people around us: apparently, to the tune of about 1000 people! We have control over ourselves and how we show up and interact with others, and we can also take those emotions and use them for good.
Achor’s central premise that happiness drives success upends the traditional paradigm that we will be happy when we are successful. When you consider the Ripple Effect, however, happiness not only drives our success, but can also help impact other people’s happiness (and therefore success).
As a leader, how are you scanning your world for happiness. He gives tons of tangible advice in the book (watch the TED Talk for a quick start), but some of the simple ways are:
Cultivate a gratitude practice
Think about a positive memory before doing a difficult task
Meditate
Find something to look forward to each day
Exercise
Think about how you can improve your own happiness. It doesn’t need to be drastic. Remember James Clear’s idea that you just improve by 1% (and then by the end of a year, you will be 37 times better - I wrote about it in a recent blog post). Now think about if you have improved your happiness, you’ve created a positive impact for yourself, but also for potentially 1000 people in your sphere of influence.
So, what are you going to do?
