Stop Fighting Who You Are
Do you ever feel like you are fighting against yourself; like you are trying to adapt to a system or process that just isn’t working? Perhaps you have an idea that you need to do something a certain way, and you feel frustrated because you can’t make it work that way. Maybe you are struggling to communicate with other people and they don’t seem to understand you?
You aren’t alone!
You have a natural behaviour tendency or profile, and fighting against results in frustration and feeling like a failure.
What if instead of fighting against it, you leaned into it and embraced your strengths and learned to understand your challenges. Trying to force yourself to be something you are not can lead to stress, burnout, and dissatisfaction.
One way to move from frustration to success is by completing and understanding a DISC assessment. Your report gives you an overview of the DISC model (for more see THIS blog post), but also gives you specific information about you such as:
How others see you
Your strengths
Situations that reduce your motivation
How you react under pressure
It also gives you specific dos and don’ts for interacting with other profiles.
Understand Yourself and Others
DISC can lead to better communication and greater empathy towards yourself and others.
As I’ve done DISC workshops with people, I often hear someone say:
“Now I understand myself.”
Instead of fighting against yourself, lean in and embrace what you need and set yourself up for success instead. Some examples include:
Goal Setting
D Set ambitious goals that might feel a bit risky.
I Set goals you can achieve with others.
S Find a close accountability partner
C Create the plan that will help you achieve your goal.
Decision Making
D & I You are willing to make quick decisions and you are not risk adverse
S & C You need time to process and are risk adverse
Meetings
D Keep them short and focused on a specific goal or result
I Build in time to chat with people as relationships are very important to you
S Create a strong team and engage them in the meeting
C Have a strong agenda and ensure the information is shared before the meeting
So What?
DISC helps explain why certain behaviours come naturally, while others do not, but it does not dictate what you are capable of. Your natural behaviours will be easy and take less energy; unnatural behaviours will take more energy (so you feel more tired when you are leaning into these areas).
Adapting
We often think everyone should adapt to us, however, strong leaders (and people with high emotional intelligence) actually adapt to those around them. But how? Some people naturally do this, but most people don’t. DISC gives you the roadmap to do that.
Understanding
I was working with two different D styles (at different times) and both remarked that they didn’t realize how they came across to others, but they now understood why other people might have been intimidated by them. D styles are very direct and embrace conflict. As a very small portion of the population (8 – 10% of the Canadian population), they had always felt like they were on the fringe, and that many people keep them at a distance. This insight doesn’t mean they need to completely change (each profile has strengths), but rather, they gained the understanding of how others saw them which allowed them to sometimes soften their approach when appropriate.
I was working with a C style who felt stressed and overwhelmed because she would attend meetings where the Chair would share information and then ask for her opinion or recommendation. Understanding that she preferred written communication and need time to read and reflect on reports, she started asking for these reports to be shared in advance so she could feel prepared when she attended these meetings.
I was working with an S style who felt disconnected working from home. He really struggled during the pandemic as he felt isolated, and not part of a team. He learned that teamwork was important to him, articulated this to his leader and team, and then set up more check ins and his team started consciously reaching out to him to make him feel included.
I was working with an I style who felt overwhelmed and like they were disappointing people because they didn’t meet their commitments. They learned that I styles are optimistic and want to do all the things, so they were taking on too much which meant they lacked the time to execute. They also realized that they struggled with execution and were able to build up a strong support network so they could do the work together.
In each of these instances, the insight gained through their DISC assessment enabled them to understand what to ask for, and also how others might see them. They are all amazing people who dedicate their time to various endeavours, however they felt unsuccessful at times. After learning about DISC, they were able to both advocate for what they needed, but also adapt their communication and behaviour to the other styles which dramatically improved relationships and results.
You Need to Adapt, not Change
Have you ever felt like you had to be someone you weren’t; that you had to change, and that you weren’t enough or right? You don’t need to change, but rather, you might just need to adapt.
You don’t have to be someone who can make decisions on the spot, but you can ask for what you need (information beforehand) to make a decision when needed.
You don’t have to work alone, but you need to understand how to ask to work as part of a group (and that you need it).
You don’t need to stop challenging the status quo, but you need to understand how to do it in a way that doesn’t make others feel uncomfortable.
What’s Next?
Do you know your DISC style? Do you have an assessment? Awesome – go read it and answer the questions. If you are short on time, focus on pages 28 – 33 which gives you the roadmap of how to adapt to each of the four styles.
Don’t know your style? No problem!
You can do an assessment, Get Coaching & Buy a Package
Interested, but not ready to commit?
Check out my free DISC course.
