The Case for Quiet Leadership: The Power of Listening
In a world where everyone seems to be shouting to be heard, who is taking the time to truly listen? Whether it’s the chatter of social media, breaking news, or the constant buzz of daily life, the noise can feel overwhelming. As leaders, we face a unique challenge: How do we cut through the distractions and focus on what truly matters?
The answer lies in listening. Taking a moment to step back, breathe, and hear the voices of those around us isn’t just a sign of strength—it’s a leadership imperative. We don’t always have to be right, but by creating space for others to share their thoughts and ideas, we empower our teams and, in turn, become stronger leaders ourselves.
In this world dominated by noise, leaders face a unique challenge: to cut through the distractions and truly hear their teams. Sometimes those distractions include us as leaders.
Why Listening Matters
When you think about great leaders, who comes to mind? The traditional leadership paradigm is a charismatic leader at the front of a crowd, inspiring those around them with great speeches.
While this charismatic leader has a place, limiting our view of great leadership to this model limits us; there are many great leadership archetypes, but listening has become more critical as our views on leadership evolve.
That quiet leader has been misunderstood and misconstrued as passive and ineffective, and we need to revise our thoughts and beliefs on effective leadership.
In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins presents Level 5 Leadership as a mix of “extreme personal humility with intense professional will” (p. 21). He writes that this Level 5 Leadership was critical for the shift from Good to Great in most of the companies he studied. He emphasizes the importance of humility in these leaders and shares that they didn’t seek the spotlight and that they created an environment where people felt empowered contribute, collaborate and innovate.
The Power of Listening
Listening builds trust and it creates space to hear diverse perspectives, and it fosters innovation.
Consider the leader who asks for input and opinions, but first shares theirs. They aren’t really listening, although it may be unintentional. As a leader, consider trying to be the last to speak.
Creating space where people feel safe to share ideas without fear of being put down or criticized fosters innovation and creativity, and leads to better decision making. By the law of numbers, the more ideas shared, the better the opportunity to chose the best solution.
Listening is more than just hearing words though. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is simply allowing the words to flow through your ears. Listening means you want to know more; you tend to ask more questions, and you remain open to ideas and suggestions. Often the first idea isn’t necessarily the best, but it leads to questions, iterations and ultimately a great idea. The more ideas shared, the better the chance of uncovering a truly innovative solution, especially when diverse perspectives are included.
The collaboration that happens when you focus on listening elevates your team, as well as, your leadership.
Build Stronger Relationships
People do not want to be in a one-sided relationship where they rarely have the opportunity to contribute. Adopting a listening-first approach makes you more approachable and empathetic. Ultimately, people will proactively come to you with problems too, ultimately improving the efficacy of your team too.
Overcoming Myths
There are several myths which come out of the traditional extrovert, charismatic leadership archetype.
Quiet Leaders Aren’t Assertive
Introverts and quiet leaders are often mischaracterized as passive, pushovers or doormats, which is not accurate. They are just as able as extroverts at holding boundaries and they speak up when necessary.
Quiet Leaders are Ineffective in High Stress Situations
Contrary to this myth, quiet leaders are quite effective in high stress situations. They are often more composed and deliberate; generally more reflective than reactive. Once they make a decision, though, they can hold to it. They listen carefully to ensure they understand all perspectives and work towards a win-win resolution. Their demeanor can calm others too, allowing discussion to be focused, rather than emotionally charged.
Quiet Leaders Lack Charisma Needed to Inspire Others
Reflect on leaders you admire. Are any calm, reserved and quiet? It is likely those qualities that make you respect them. Quiet leaders often focus on building trust; quietly and safely inspiring others.
Quiet Leaders don’t Make Bold Decisions
Bold decisions are not reserved solely for extroverted or charismatic leaders. Quiet leaders seek a wide diversity of input, reflect carefully, and with all the information they need, can make any decisions, including bold ones. They often consider long-term impact when making decisions.
Quiet Leaders Lack Influence
As with the other myths, this one is rooted in the traditional charismatic paradigm. Quiet leaders are effective at building relationships which means people trust them which is key to influencing others. They build strong loyalty and give thoughtful feedback; their influence comes from guiding others rather than commanding them.
Practical Tips for Developing Quiet Leadership Skills
Practice Active Listening
Actively listen by doing the following:
Fully engage with the speaker
Ask clarifying questions
Demonstrate empathy
Maintain eye contact
Eliminate distractions
Remain engaged
Reflect and paraphrase
Cultivate Patience and Reflection
While patience might not be one of the top ten attributes you use to describe yourself, you can focus on improving your reflection which will lead to more patience.
Build reflection practices such as journaling, clarity breaks, regular reflections.
When you are tempted to make a quick or rash decision, slow down and ask yourself if you can wait an hour, a day … What else might you need to know before you make it.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Brene Brown advocates that we assume everyone is doing the best they can; believing this creates patience and causes you to reflect on how that statement might be true.
Consider all perspectives and solicit and seek those which are different than yours.
Develop your Emotional Intelligence
Learn to recognize your emotions and name them (Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart is a great resource for understanding your emotions and putting a name to them).
Learn to recognize emotions in others.
Practice self-regulation and self-care strategies, including taking time when you need it.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Lead by Example
Demonstrate empathy, integrity, respect, compassion and professionalism.
Be humble
Find a role model/mentor
Ask people to bring to your attention when you are not leading by example
Adopt a Coaching Approach
Be the last to speak (introduce but don’t drive the discussion)
Ask lots of questions
Listen more than you speak (follow the 70/30 rule where you listen 70% of the time and speak 30% - and use your speaking time to ask great questions)
Follow Michael Bungay Stanier’s advice: “Can I be curious just a little bit longer?”
What’s Next
While we often follow a pendulum approach where we swing from one absolute to another, that isn’t the answer, and completely changing your approach (if you aren’t prone to listening now), but taking small steps towards listening more will still pay dividends. Reflect on where you can improve a bit and take a small step. When that feels more comfortable, take another small step.
